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© Carl Martin Johnson, All rights reserved

What Was She?

By Carl Martin Johnson

I wake every morning,
The same question on my mind.
What is it ‘twixt death and borning
That we had and left behind?


Is this life an interlude,
A short break from the real?
This existence misconstrued?
A dream meant to conceal?


There is always that suspicion
That we are something more.
That we have a greater mission,
A goal we were created for.


A crack in a brief dream,
An image floating in the dawn,
Speck of dust in a moonbeam,
Appearing only an instant before it’s gone.


These visions may be true.
We will know in the final sleep.
Then we’ll have great things to do,
And a destiny to keep.




By Carl Martin Johnson

He was tired….the journey long.
He would be glad to rest.
He was no longer strong.
It had been a trying quest.

He had chosen a path untrod.
One often beset with danger.
But, by the grace of God,
Bloody death remained a stranger.

He thought about his learning,
The knowledge he had gained.
He’d paid dearly in its earning,
Yet it was worth what he’d attained.

The goal was now in sight.
His odyssey at an end.
He would walk into the Light.
The journey had been his friend.




By Carl Martin Johnson

I am Life…Hear me roar!
Feel me surging through your veins.
I am what you are here for.
In this world it is Life who reigns.

Only with me do you evolve,
Does the human race move on
Toward the riddle you would solve.
Without me you would be gone.

Dance with me while you can.
I’ll not be with you long.
Your days are a limited span.
Be quick to sing your song.

We share Love, you and I,
Because I am God’s Breath.
I am with you ‘til you die.
You’ll greet another after Death.




By Carl Martin Johnson

She tossed him a warm glance
That he saw her briefly hold.
Her smile said “Take a chance!”
It was coquettish if not bold.

He felt his manhood stir.
Every sense at full alert.
He was entranced by her.
Her sensuality almost hurt.

His eyes followed her away.
And he knew she was aware.
She was experienced at flirting play,
Took as a prize his longing stare.

He could almost swear he knew her.
Had held her in his arms,
That he had been a lover to her,
Seduced by her womanly charms.

Tomorrow he’d come again,
Hoping she’d not be on her man’s arm.
He would tempt her to sweet sin.
He would offer loving warm.



By Carl Martin Johnson

Will my shadow fall behind me,
If I face into the sun?
Will the past’s dark ties unbind me,
Let my race for life be run?

The weight that my soul bears,
Can I drop it in the dirt?
Will the sun’s light make repairs?
Will it heal and soothe the hurt?

My bad fortune cannot last.
I am stronger than my fate.
I will overcome my past.
I am strong…it’s not too late.

I will look into the sun,
Let it burn away my sin.
A better future can be won.
I will begin again.




By Carl Martin Johnson

You are all my loves in one.
All future, now, and past.
With you, my searching’s done.
I have joy at last.

You were in my first love’s eyes
When I was just a youth.
Though you were in disguise,
So I could not see the truth.

At last I have you here.
The love we share is true.
Only you do I hold dear.
All my loves are you.

If one day you leave,
Perhaps I’ll love anew.
But I’ll have no cause to grieve,
Because inside her will be you.



By Carl Martin Johnson

You touch me while I sleep,
Gently, for fear of waking.
But my slumber is not so deep
I can’t feel the love you’re making.

My arousal you can feel,
Though you believe I’m dreaming.
Into my dream you’ll steal,
And set love’s juices streaming.

Your lips will feather kiss
Every erotically sensitive part,
Heating full my loins in bliss,
Setting afire my lover’s heart.

I will hold back and pretend
While I bear the delicious pain.
Tortured, yet fearing its end.
Of pleasure only can I complain.

Soon I will give in.
I’ll join you in the game.
Our spark of nighttime sin
Will grow into passion’s flame.




By Carl Martin Johnson

I have touched a star,
Looked God in the eye.
My goal is high and far,
But I’ll reach it before I die.

There’s more to me each morning.
Each day I live I’m growing.
Every dawn I am reborning,
More complete and knowing.

I struggle every day,
But I enjoy the fight.
Every dragon that I slay
Tells me I’m Man and right.

With conscious being I’ve been blessed.
There are no limits set.
This life’s a wondrous quest,
And I’ll leave with no regret.





By Carl Martin Johnson


To risk in love and lose
May cause your heart great pain.
But if it is fear you choose,
The chance may never come again.



By Carl Martin Johnson

She’s known men before me.
She calls them in her sleep.
She does not adore me,
And my love for her’s not deep.

Her thoughts are in other places
When she strains with our bodies’ quaking.
She is seeing other faces,
Yet I don’t mind that she is faking

I have my own illusions,
Lovers who have gone.
They are not intrusions.
Our lovemaking goes on.

We give each other pleasure.
We don’t care about wrong or right.
With a companionship we treasure,
We can make it through the night.




By Carl Martin Johnson


I lie here in the summer night
Searching for a friendly star
To take me on a magic flight
Where the nymphs and fairies are.


Take me back where I was young,
You brilliant astral being.
Let me hear songs by mothers sung,
And be through a child’s eyes seeing.


Before I knew life’s troubles,
When I knew no one unkind,
I floated on dream bubbles
In a land now left behind.


I know I cannot stay.
Even star riders must return.
Though I must be back by day,
I’ll ride while your starfires burn.




By Carl Martin Johnson


Her left eye held the moon for me.
In her right eye shone the sun.
Her smile was paradise to see.
Her kiss the only one.


Her breath was sweet perfume.
Her skin felt silken smooth.
She was a flower in full bloom.
A beauty sent to soothe.


And when she held me in her arms,
She made this poor man king.
Blessed with my lover’s charms,
Every day a cause to sing.


I feared such joy a dream.
Fantasizing, the way one does.
Then I awoke to dawn’s first beam,
To find a dream she was.


By Carl Martin Johnson

The boxer stood, head bowed,
Yet his face showed no defeat.
The booing from the crowd
Could not force him to retreat.


He was close to losing the fight,
Though upright in this last round.
But he would not go down this night
Before the final bell’s sound.


His opponent had hit hard,
Left the boxer bruised and bled.
He would be cut and scarred.
Wounded, yes. Not dead.


He would not quit ‘til the match ended,
Until the hitting was all done.
A torn body could be mended.
The fight could still be won.




By Carl Martin Johnson

Your beauty filled my mind.
You were naked and complete.
I lay with you, intertwined,
Our loving slow and sweet.

My lips searched and caressed you.
I aroused you beyond measure.
With all my lust I blessed you.
We shared our erotic treasure.

When we, at last, were spent,
Bodies stilled from passion’s throes,
I felt thrust into a new event,
Where the body never goes.

Our minds seemed to have matured,
Anticipating more,
Something yet unknown which lured.
Something deep down in our core.

We lit ecstasy’s fire,
From our spirits not our loins.
The flames burned with desire
Where soul and mortality joins.

Our beings were full united.
Our souls’ needs were sated.
Something fine we had ignited.
A higher love we had created.




By Carl Martin Johnson

Deep dark dancing drops
Fall along with the night rain.
But my crying never stops.
No relief from the great pain.

Suffering spirit slowly sinking.
Lift it up and try again.
Cut the sadness from my thinking.
Bleak despair is a great sin.

Hurry here, half-hidden hoping.
Shine your sunbeams through my heart.
Let my days be not spent moping.
Let my life have a fresh start.

Ignore infinity’s intimidation.
Fear of the abyss besets us all.
Live life as celebration.
And be the best dancer at the ball.




By Carl Martin Johnson

Flowing, liquid like a cat,
A sleek panther stalking.
When the stalker moves like that,
It’s the predator in him talking.

The enemy was near.
It was him the stalker smelled.
But the stalker had no fear.
His prey would soon be felled.

He would make a silent kill.
Remove the enemy scout.
He was confident of his skill.
His lethal abilities were not in doubt.

His brothers trailed behind.
They would follow where he led.
Without him they were blind.
Without him they’d be dead.

His heart ached with every killing.
He prayed for the dying to be soon done.
But he’d keep stalking, though unwilling,
Until at last the fight was won.




By Carl Martin Johnson

Damn your deceit! Damn your lies!
I know where you have been
The truth lurks in your shamed eyes.
You cannot hide your sin.

I know too well your game.
Desires you can’t control.
If you are not to blame,
Then there’s a demon in your soul.

You’ve been touched by other hands.
Someone else aroused your ardor.
The marks on you are another man’s.
If you must lie, try harder.

While with him you naked lay,
Were you making plans to deceive?
While you let him have his way,
Were you composing lies I would believe?

Take your untruths and leave!
Damn them, and damn you!
Not for an instant will I grieve.
My next love will be true!




By Carl Martin Johnson

You cannot crush me, Lord!
You made me far too strong.
It was You Who built me hard,
Let me sing the warrior’s song.

Send what trials you desire.
I will best all I face.
Be it ice, or be it fire,
Any challenge I’ll embrace.

The road I walk is rough.
I sometimes stumble, even fall.
But You, Lord, made me tough.
I can endure it all.

Nothing can defeat me.
No force my soul can tame,
Until You, my Lord, greet me,
With your Ghost, from whence I came.




By Carl Martin Johnson

I will stay, but not for long.
I have other lives to do.
For now, here I belong.
Later, somewhere new.

I like this time and place
As much as others I have known.
In my evolving chase,
Here, too, I have grown.

I will bide here for a while,
Increase the stature of my soul,
Gaining wisdom from each trial,
Moving closer to my goal.

One day I will move on,
Go to sleep and wake again.
All of this life will be gone,
And a new life will begin.




By Carl Martin Johnson

Will Life's red-eyed trials defeat me?
Will I be overrun?
Or will I fight those sent to meet me,
Until the Battle's won?



By Carl Martin Johnson

Emma left her house that day
To pick a bouquet of flowers,
But she was held up on the way
By heavy summer showers.

She knew the blossoms needed rain,
So she was not upset.
It caused her no undue pain,
Though she got a little wet.

She climbed up to a mountaintop
To avoid the growing flood.
She worried the drops might never stop,
Pouring down like Heaven’s blood.

From the vantage of Emma’s perch,
The world she saw was new.
She was in Creation’s church,
Colored in angelic hue.

This world she was now seeing
Was one she had not known.
She felt part of her soul freeing.
Something inside had grown.

When the downpour ceased at last,
She came down from the peak.
Emma’s life was changing fast.
Now she knew what she should seek.

Emma looked once more around,
Smiled wide in her surprise.
The world was the same, she found,
But she saw it with new eyes.




By Carl Martin Johnson


Slink away on past me death.
To your shame you missed me.
I smelt the scent of your foul breath
Before you bent and kissed me.


Soul Lovers
I Am Life
Dancing Drops
Am I Bound By My Past?
Damn The Lies!
All My Loves
You Touch Me While I Sleep
I Stand Unbowed
Star Toucher
For Now
Just Get Me Through The Night
Emma On The Mountaintop
I Need A Friendly Star
Slink Past Me Death
Will Life's Red-Eyed Trials Defeat Me?
To Risk In Love And Lose
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